Foundations · 7 min read
What the Fight Is Really About
Most arguments are not about the dishes, the text message, or the money. They are about a need that went unmet and unnamed.
Read article →Articles
The thinking behind the decoder
Short, usable pieces on why couples fight the way they do — and what to say instead.
Frameworks · 8 min read
Hughes vs. Robbins: Two Maps of the Same Territory
The 6 Core Social Needs and the Six Human Needs overlap, but they answer different questions. Using both gives you depth and direction.
Read article →Patterns · 6 min read
Four Patterns That End Conversations Early
Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and score-keeping each block a specific need. Here is what each one costs and what replaces it.
Read article →Skills · 5 min read
Say It Better: Rewriting the Sentence Before You Send It
A four-part structure that keeps your point intact while removing the parts that trigger a defense.
Read article →Skills · 6 min read
Repair Attempts That Actually Land
The skill that separates couples who recover from couples who accumulate. Repair is not apology — it is re-connection mid-conflict.
Read article →Using the Decoder · 5 min read
How to Read Your Needs Signal Report
Scores, quotes, collisions, and rewrites — what each section of the decoder output means and what to do with it.
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