Decode Your Recurring Fight

Use the decoder on the argument you keep having, and turn the report into a standing agreement.

1. Step 1

   Capture a real instance

   Reconstruct the most recent version from memory or from your texts. Approximate wording is fine; keep the order and the tone accurate.

2. Step 2

   Run it through the decoder

   Enter both names and a sentence of context. Read the report separately before you discuss it.

3. Step 3

   Find the collision

   Identify the two needs pulling against each other. Write one sentence each: 'When X happens, I am protecting my need for ___.'

4. Step 4

   Design the workaround

   Recurring fights need a rule, not a resolution. Build a small protocol that feeds both needs — a standing check-in, a heads-up text, a stated wind-down window.

   • • Make it specific enough to fail visibly
   • • Review it in two weeks